Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Top Ten Reasons Why The Rockies Must Beat The Red Sox!

As we approach the start of the World Series, here are the top 10 reasons why the Rockies will (really should/need to) beat the Red Sox...

#10 – Sweet Caroline!
What is up with that song? First of all, it’s a Neil Diamond song. Remember Bill Murray’s line as “Bob” in the movie What About Bob?
“There are two kinds of people in this world; those that love Neil Diamond and those that hate Neil Diamond. My ex-wife loved Neil Diamond.”
Did ya ever listen to the lyrics to his songs?
“She got the way to move me, Cherry”…What the #@%! Does that mean?!
“Pack up the babies Grab the old ladies”…Why?!
“Cracklin’ Rosie you store bought woman”…Geez!
In the 60’s, this guy must have overdosed on baby aspirin!

#9 – The Idiots!
Webster’s Dictionary defines Idiots as so;
Id-i-ots – An utterly foolish or senseless person.
Yeah, any team that prides themselves to such an endearing term is quite a group to look up to.

#8 – The New Evil Empire!
Move over, Yankees, you have been replaced by the guys from Fenway Pahk!
From The Grand Moff Francona to Darth Varitek, these guys make my skin crawl! The Indians failed to drive a stake through their heart!

#7 – Fenway Pahk!
The place is falling apart! It survived a date with the wrecking ball and remains one of the smallest fields in the majors. The Green Monster with its manually operated scoreboard, the bullpens added so that "Teddy Ballgame" could hit more home runs, and the smallest foul territory in all of baseball is not quaint; it’s anti-quaint-ed!

#6 – The Accent!
Get in yoh cah and drive past the Gahden to pahk and get some chowda…Get over yourselves!

#5 – You-Kill-Us!
Led by first baseman, Kevin Youkilis, these guys didn’t exactly step out of GQ. Get a razor, some soap, and stop looking like IDIOTS!

#4 – The Red Sox Nation!
Where exactly is it located and where are the boundaries? Not since the Braves and the Cowboys staked their claim to “America’s Team” has any other team had the gall to think anyone outside of Beantown gives a FART about them! We can only hope that they will secede from the Union!

#3 – Payroll!
These guys had the American League Championship bought and paid for with their $143.5M payroll. Let’s see the $54.4M Rockies kick their tails!

#2 – Manny Being Manny!
I hate that term! However, there is no denying Manny as himself; often unenthusiastic, employing a lack of concentration, mental lapses, posing at home plate, etc. Just think what this talented player could have accomplished if he would have ever given a damn and applied himself!

And, the #1 reason why the Rockies will beat the Red Sox is…
Man, these guys beat my Indians and broke my heart. There is no denying that they earned the right to be in the World Series but come on, who wouldn’t love to see the Rockies, at almost one third the Boston payroll, knock off the Red Sox?
Go Rockies!

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