Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Cleveland Indian Hall Of Fame Pitcher Bob “Rapid Robert” Feller To Come Out Of Retirement!

The following story is a fictional rendering of events yet to unfold. Any similar circumstances that should take place in the near future are purely coincidental.

"Rapid Robert" Feller leaves a press conference where he announces that he is coming out of retirement!

On Sunday, Roger Clemens announced that he was coming out of retirement (again) to help his old team, the New York Yankees, due to their injury-ridden pitching staff and their poor performance to date.
Baseball legend and Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Feller has made a similar decision to make himself available to the Cleveland Indians to replace Jake Westbrook, who has gone on the disabled list. The 87 year old Feller, who still pitches (from the rubber) and fields his position with the campers at the annual Cleveland Indians Fantasy Camp each January, had this to say;
“I have always been, and always will be a Cleveland Indian. This team is in first place and by golly, I’m gonna make sure we keep ‘em there!”
On Monday evening when the announcement reached the team, who was busy sticking it to the Baltimore Orioles by a score of 10 -1 in Camden Yards, they had the following reaction;

Said Mark Shapiro, “We love having Bob back and we know what a great asset he will be to our season. Best of all, Bob is a huge bargain as his pension prohibits him from collecting a salary! We are working out contractual arrangements with Geritol and Ben Gay!”

Eric Wedge said, “We’re glad to have Bob’s leadership and experience on the team. We’ll give him the ball and see where Bob can take us. Knowing Bob, he will probably want to take his swings in inter-league play situations!”

Trot Nixon had this to say, “I’ve read stories about this great man and seen his likeness in Cooperstown. I think it’s great he can still contribute to this team. Will he get too pissed off if he gets hit with a "player of the game" cream pie?

Fausto Carmona said (through an interpreter), “I ween another game and I go down to Booffalo ageen to make room for heem? Oh Noooooooo!”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dude, maybe Joe Azcue could come out, too. Then maybe they could throw out a runner at second base!