Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Albert Belle Chimes In!

Good old Albert “Joey” Belle! Remember that guy? Truly a talented ballplayer who was the poster boy for anger management! Well, it seems Albert is unhappy with the “CC” trade…

"Imagine that, the Cleveland Indians trade away another great player because they didn't want to pay him," said Belle from his home in Arizona. "The saga continues."
"When is Larry Dolan going to sell the club?" said Belle. "I could buy a piece of it. There are a lot of people on teams making a lot of bad decisions. You don't always have to spend a lot of money. Look at what Billy Beane does in Oakland."
Asked if he wanted to get back into the game, Belle said, "I want to be an owner. The Mariners called me and wanted me to come to spring training as a roving hitting coach. But they were going to pay me peanuts."

Just think, Belle could be back in Cleveland soon as the (part) owner of the Cleveland Indians! If Albert were to put together a purchasing group, just think of the good times he could bring back to Cleveland!
When Albert ruled the territory between East 9th Street and Ontario, he was a dangerous hitter, on and off the field.

  • He squarely hit the thermostat in the clubhouse with his bat when he didn’t like the temperature.

  • How about the hurtin’ he put on the national photographer with a thrown ball to the mid-section? How dare he take a picture of Albert the Great!

  • Then there was the perfect pitch he fired at the fan in the stands who called him “Joey!”

  • Albert showed great dexterity at ping pong when he smashed his paddle in a heckler’s face!

  • Remember the 1995 World Series? Albert threw out the first Hannah Storm from the home team dugout to start the game!

  • There was the sink in Colorado Springs that dared to get in Albert’s way.

  • Remember Albert’s corked bats in 1994?

  • How about the forearm he threw at Fernando Vina or the many times he charged the mound?

  • Best of all was when he chased after Halloween “trickers” with his SUV after they threw eggs at his house. Because of the contact between one of the teenage egg throwers and Albert’s SUV, Albert was convicted of reckless operation and a civil suit followed. The father of the “bumped” teenager was an employee of mine. That teenager and his brothers and sisters would never have to worry about the cost of college educations as a result of the settlement.

So yeah, ‘mon back, Albert! This town and the good fans supported you and looked the other way like no other until you filed for free agency, went to Chicago, and then dissed the fans upon your return as a dark knight (with White Sox).
Tsk, tsk, tsk; Albert, Albert, Albert; Joey, Joey, Joey; whatever, whatever, whatever!
Mind your own business, keep playing non-contact golf, and try to stay out of trouble. Your old team is hurtin’ bad, but far better off without the likes of you!

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