As sung by Indians V.P. & G.M. Mark Shapiro...
Help, I need some hitters,
Help, not just triple-A hitters,
Help, you know I need .300 hitters, help.
When we were winning, so many victories each day,
We never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now those days are gone, I’m not so self assured,
Now I find we’re left behind, Detroit may have the central well secured.
Help me if you can, we’re going down
And I would appreciate a draft first round.
Help me, keep our treasured central crown,
Won't you please, please help me?
And now the competition has changed in oh so many ways,
Our dominance just seemed to vanish in the haze.
So every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need to trade like I've never done before.
Help me if you can, we’re going to drown
And I do appreciate this supportive town.
Help me, keep this team above renown,
Won't you please, please help me.
Opening Day is only 90 days away...