"Eye-gor" Speaks Out!

Indians General Manager Mark Shapiro, pronounced with a long "i", has affectionately been referred to on these pages as Igor, also with a long "i" from the movie "Young Frankenstein".

Anyway, here is a pearl of wisdom from the top of the Indians' management. This latest brain fart to be released from the wrong end of the torso was posted in the Sunday morning edition of the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

"Our last eight games we're trending better. If we keep trending in that direction, we'll be OK. If we slip back again, then we've dug a hole for ourselves. So far, we've dug a rut, not a hole."
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Mark Shapiro,
general manager, on the Indians' rocky start.

Holy Sinkholes, Bat-lessMan, me thinks my home is a little too uncomfortably close to Progressive Field where you can see China from the Chasm the Indians have dug themselves into this season. I may need to add erosion of biblical proportions to my homeowners insurance.

When the Cleveland Division of Streets heard this quote, they laid off two-thirds of their road repair crews thinking that if people will put up with Shapiro's "rut", they will be less bothered by the 4'x4'x4' craters drivers navigate around town presently.

On the brighter side, manager Eric Wedge made some progress last night as he uncrossed and then recrossed his legs in the dugout after the 7-1 loss last night. In fact, he raised his voice just a bit with reporters when he stated the following;

''I think where we are, off to a poor start, we have to address everything,'' Wedge said. ''I don't want to dig too big a hole for ourselves. What bothers me more than anything is that we're not making good outs. With the exception of a couple of guys, we've had a very poor approach at the plate. There's no excuse — a lack of discipline, lack of confidence — they better figure it out pretty quick. I'm not going to sit around and watch this. They're not kids anymore.''

Holy crap! Was that our Wedgie talking? Too bad these guys have to figure it out themselves though. What do the coaches do?

We shall see what today will bring. I am going to cut the grass now, but when I get tired and need a nap, I will tune in and sleep through another exciting game of Indians' baseball. However, I will be looking for any signs of stress in the ground from that big sinkhole at 9th St. and Carnegie Ave.